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Feb 23, 2015

I'm tired and bored of life right now. Maybe I need more medication to settle myself down. I can't seem to be content anymore. When I was hospitalized, I was actually happier because I slept most of the time. The nurses put me to sleep with several shots. I used to be happy from ages 18-23 years. Now I'm depressed again. I want to travel and work somewhere busy. I want my life to be busy instead of staying at home and bored out of my mind everyday. I feel like dying. I'm going to nap some more and wake up later... I don't feel like being awake. What a sad life. Maybe I don't like the quiet life. I feel antisocial.

Posted at 07:38 pm by Circus
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Feb 15, 2015
At home

Blogdrive is almost the same as deadjournal because it's very quiet. It had some active members, but very few. After this entry, it would probably be a long while until I come back because sometimes I forget.

So, today was mundane as usual. I woke up at around 10am, took a shower and went to buy lunch. I had fried chicken and sticky rice. I'm currently on a diet, but not a real one. I tried to eat as little as possible. I had done this a year ago and it actually worked. The only difference is that I don't exercise because I'm too lazy. I didn't want to go jogging outside. The environment just doesn't fit with exercising, and it's too hot outside. If I was at Phuket, an island in Thailand, I would probably wake up early at 7am and jog around the block. The weather in Phuket is cold because it's close to the beach. There are also many expats and foreigners who goes out exercising in the morning so I know I wasn't alone, but Rayong isn't like that. It's mostly the locals and no one exercises in this type of environment. I don't remember being this lazy and I can't help it. I just lost my enthusiasm. I don't really have any drive anymore.

I feel like I'm back at feeling the same way again. I'm looking at pictures of places I should have been living in but I'm here and can't move anywhere right now. Maybe in 1-2 years.

Posted at 12:50 pm by Circus
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Jun 22, 2014
Free time

In Thailand there is a shopping area for food called ta-lad(marketplace), which there are foods like street foods, fruits and other goods sold outside. I went there today. I shop for some food. I'm still waiting for the right job. Here, in Rayong, there aren't many hotels and jobs. I'm not enjoying my free time as much as I should. I want to start working as soon as possible.

Posted at 05:42 am by Circus
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Jun 18, 2014
Blogging Sites

2 Great blogging sites for blogging fans. Woohu and Nutang

Posted at 12:12 am by Circus
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Jun 17, 2014
Waiting for the right job

I'm sitting at home waiting for a call back from Marriott hotel to employ me. I went there on June 4th to do a food test, and the director of F&B seemed to like my food. She ate a whole plate of Spaghetti Carbonara that I made. She didn't like my Smoked Salmon Bruschetta as much as the Carbonara. I was interviewed there for a few hours and I also went inside the hotel's kitchen to see how everyone works and where all the kitchen equipments were kept. I thought they would give me a call right away, but they didn't. I'm going to call them on Friday to follow up. If they're not going to hire me, I won't have to waste my time waiting for them.

I want to go to Bangkok and find a job there, but my mom doesn't want me to live separately from the family. There aren't a lot of jobs in Rayong unfortunately, but I don't want to sit at home not doing anything. People my age have to go to work. Bangkok has many Mexican Restaurants but I think working in a hotel would be a better choice. There are benefits and service charge. I have to take things day by day. I get impatient when I don't find the right job. I have no choice but to wait. It's been a year since I took a break from work.

Posted at 11:58 pm by Circus
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Jun 15, 2014

I have not been on blogdrive since forever. I'm debating whether I should update here or not. I have not been blogging for a long time.

Posted at 06:20 am by Circus
Comments (3)  

Dec 26, 2008
Should I?

Should I update this thing? It feels so lonely and isolated.
Nah. I'll just stick with what I have. Everything I have now is stable.

Posted at 11:08 pm by Circus
Comments (4)